Sevy makes seven

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

I will never forget the moment that her face popped up on my phone screen. It was early one morning and I was lying in bed casually scrolling through my Facebook feed. It was rare for me to wake up before the sound of my giant baby alarm. So I was just soaking up the quiet.

I can't really put words to the feeling. I see tons of faces of children waiting for families every day. Children in horrible places and situations with very little hope. And while my heart hurts for each and every one of them, I don't always stop and think, "hey, that kid belongs with us." But her face made me think that. It was the exact same feeling that I felt when I saw Archie's chubby little face in his referral picture. Something about her made my heart skip a beat. 

I fought the feeling hard. Like no, no, no. We were already committed to Gus and we were NOT bringing home two. Just no. 

Except for that I couldn't get her face out of my head. Or her story. 

Sevy's birth mother was a victim of sex trafficking. When she was born, her mom took her to live in a home run by a priest, for women and children in trouble. They lived there together until Sevy was three and a half. At that point, for reasons I don't know, her mother decided that she could not raise her, and Sevy was sent to an orphanage. 

I cannot imagine that day. It is beyond heartbreaking to think about a mother who obviously loved and fought for her little girl for over three years, feel so hopeless that she had to let her go.

I was still feeling uncertain, so I begged God to give me something that made it obvious that she was supposed to be ours. I kept asking myself, "seven? SEVEN?!" She would make us a family of seven, and that seemed crazy. I didn't know her real name yet, I knew her as "Annalynn", the alias given to her to be posted publicly. 

I emailed our agency and requested her file. And when I got it, I also got the sign I had been asking for. Her name: Sevjdan. I messaged my friend and agency worker right away and asked how to pronounce her name and she wrote back: "I think it would be Sev-yan....Sev like 'seven' and yan with a short A." And all I could do was smile. 

I hadn't even mentioned her to Joey yet, because that would have made it really real. And when I finally did, he felt the same as I did initially- no way, no can do. 

But he agreed to take some time and really think about it. I left him alone, as I knew this was a huge decision. And when we talked again a few days later we were on the same page. We COULD. 

And yesterday, I finally got to kiss that little face. And Ace's dream of a having sister came to life. The night before, she danced around our hotel room chanting, "I'm meeting my sister tomorrow!" 

And the joy was overwhelming. Sevy is amazing. She is hysterical, smart, sassy. She is pretty much the girl version of Archie. When she does certain things, Ace will look at me and say, "that's so Archie." She is tiny. She turned eleven in December but is much smaller than Ace. She is about the size of a four or five year old. 

We have only two more days of visiting with her. About five more hours. Friday will be a really hard day. Ace has already been crying about having to leave her on Friday and doesn't understand why we can't bring her home now. I wish there was anything I could do to make it better. There's just not. 

Ace has requested to add some thoughts of her own to this post:
"I am having so much fun with Sevy in Bulgaria. I wish I could stay with her longer. She is the best sister ever. She is so funny and she really loves me. As soon as she wakes up in the morning, she's kind and playful. Every day. I love her so much and I am so happy that she's my sister. And I can't wait for Archie to meet her. Oh and Daddy. Oh, I just realized, now Daddy has two princesses. Okay now put 'From Ace'". 

Also, this kid. What a trooper. That is all. 

Lots of Love!

{I wish that I could share pictures from our visits, but I'm not allowed to share any pictures that I take until after they are legally ours}


JMarieRadd said...

So, when will you get to bring her home Lisa?

Susan said...

Total tears of happiness reading this! And some sad tears for Sevy's birthmother having to leave her at 3:'( You are living my dream. We adopted our 2 beautiful daughters and they are now 20 and 17. My dream to adopt a child with ds has never come true but I am so lucky to work with angels with ds through my job. Safe travels and can not wait to see pictures of your 2, new blessings:) Susan from Boston

Sharon said...

I think my heart just exploded. Enjoy your time with her. Can't wait to hear all about when she comes home.


Tracy said...

So thankful for an update! So excited for all of you. Praying for your tough goodbye and that you are bringing these sweet children home forever soon.

Rachel said...

Beautifully said... She is so perfect!

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